die-aspora

by Kayleigh Fan

Third Place Winner of the Bright Before Us Writing Contest

i wish i could go home 

to call your land wholly my own 

the sun, a brand on my skin 

grief of what should have been paints my bones crimson i live restless on the threshold of an isle 

never two feet in 

tasting ripe mango on my tongue 

but still dirt clings to my shins 

words of a language i can’t understand 

breeds melancholy in my ears 

and mosquito bites litter my arms 

like tears dripping on foreign sand 

though i’ve never placed your hand to my forehead i see your face in mine 

and in the petals of every blooming flower they told me you liked to write letters 

an inheritance i uphold 

but i only wish you were here to hold me 

now your gold cross adorns my neck 

so i clutch at your memory like an oath 

till i meet you in the arms of my abba 

sana nandito ka po

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Kayleigh Fan loves exploring new places, whether that be the worlds in her books or around the globe. She’s passionate about family history and draws on her Filipino-Chinese heritage to pen YA contemporary and fantasy stories—and the occasional poem. Through her writing, she strives to show diaspora girls they have a place to belong as they navigate growing up. She can often be found concocting new matcha recipes and calling it writing research. Find more at kayleighfan.com.