"Ruin It" – MA

My name has a Muslim origin and it means “the believer.” I am 13 years old.

Next year, I will be going to high school and I am so excited. However, one thing that I know I need to work on is controlling my anger. I often let my anger get the best of me and it results in bad consequences. This school year has been very chaotic because I’ve let my anger get the best of me in so many ways. I’ve been in several fights and arguments, which lead to me losing a lot of my 8th Grade privileges. In the moment, fighting seemed like a good idea because it was an immediate release of anger. When I let my anger get the best of me I fought. When I chose to fight, I thought it was a good thing because I felt like I was releasing pain. In reality, it only made the situation worse. One time, I was so angry that I fought my own friend. I didn’t realize until later how big of a mistake I was making. She was actually trying to help but my anger didn’t allow me to see that. The situation occurred because I had just been in a fight with a few people and as a friend, I wanted to her to physically help me and in my mind, I decided that since she didn’t physically fight for me then she wasn’t my real friend.

I failed to realize that she did help in the best way she knew how, without further escalating the situation. Thinking back, I feel so bad for everything that took place. I regret it but having forgiven people in your life makes living with regret a little easier. Although I am trying to move past the situation, I still struggle everyday with the fact that my anger could really cause me to lose things that really mean the world to me, like meaningful friendships with people who keep you smiling.

Not controlling my anger has caused me to lose lots of things, including things that I’ve been looking forward to. Being told that I lost my privileges only made me more angry. For example, due to the fights that I’ve been in, I am not allowed to attend the senior Kings Dominion Trip, which I really really wanted to be a part of. To sum it all up, if you really want something, don’t do anything to ruin it. Lastly, not controlling your anger and letting it get the best of you causes stress because you will get to a point where you feel like you have too much going on within yourself. Did you know depression is a symptom of stress? Sometimes, if you’re depressed, you lack energy to do the things that you normally enjoy. Taking stress and anger to school is not a good way to live because it might affect your learning. You definitely don't want to do bad academically in any grade, especially eighth grade, because you have to get into a good high school. So, my advice for you is to not let your anger get the best of you because it can cause a lot of damage.

– MA